


More Than You Could Ever Know

by misanthropiclycanthrope



Category: Burnt (2015)
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, Requited Unrequited Love, food is love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 09:57:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17159894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misanthropiclycanthrope/pseuds/misanthropiclycanthrope
Summary: Tony and Adam are both resigned to spending Christmas alone. Adam decides to change that, and they both end up with more than they expected.





	More Than You Could Ever Know

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writingmonsters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingmonsters/gifts).



> Frohe Weihnachten!

The kitchen lights blinked on, a sudden bright glare through the frosted glass of the office walls. It didn’t take a genius to guess the most likely culprit, and Tony considered just leaving him to whatever crazy notion had brought him to the kitchen so late at night.

But a glance back at the computer screen and his mind was made up. A distraction – _any_ distraction – was preferable to the headache the staff schedules for the new year were proving to be.

“What are you doing here?”

Adam looked up from his inspection of a selection of vegetables, his surprise quickly fading when he realized it was Tony. He hadn’t expected to find anyone else down here, not at this time of night, but somehow it didn’t seem strange that Tony would still be tucked away in his office, diligently beavering away hours after everyone else had left.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Tony gestured back towards the office, the desk with its scattering of notes and paperwork, the answer obvious to his own mind. “I have work.”

Adam arched an eyebrow, not surprised but curious. “On Christmas Eve?”

“Yes,” Tony replied patiently, as if explaining to a small child. Which, on the days Adam was acting more petulant than usual and Tony wasn’t feeling especially charitable, was exactly what Tony considered him to be. “The hotel does not stop for the holidays, Adam.”

“Neither does my genius.” Adam grinned with a complete lack of modesty, and Tony couldn’t honestly deny that he was a wizard in the kitchen, so he said nothing and let the rolling of his eyes speak for him.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Adam continued, offering Tony the truth – something that still surprised Tony, and was a refreshing change. “Thought I’d try out a few things.” He went back to gathering supplies, checking off a list in his head. Satisfied, he unrolled his knives – Jean-Luc’s knives – but paused before selecting one, looking back over his shoulder at Tony. “Surely you coulda scheduled yourself some time off for the holidays?”

The answer was yes, of course. Tony could easily have allocated himself some vacation time, but the thought of sitting alone in his flat watching sappy old Christmas movies just hadn’t appealed. “Someone needs to keep the hotel running.”

“And that someone has to be you?” 

“Yes.” That made Adam smile. Fastidious, perfectionist Tony wouldn’t dare entrust the hotel to anyone else. There was more, however, stemming from Tony’s inherent kindness, his selfless desire to help those who deserved a break. “The others, they have families.”

“What about you?” Adam asked with genuine curiosity. The thought of Tony holed up alone in his office on Christmas Eve triggered an unexpected sadness, a hollow around his heart. “Don’t you have someone to celebrate with?”

Tony shrugged, as if his loneliness was of no consequence. “Only my cat.”

“I guess that makes two of us.”

Tony looked up sharply. “You have a cat?”

“No!” Adam assured him quickly, before Tony could launch into a lecture about hygiene standards and the hotel being a pet-free establishment. “I mean we’re both _lonely this Christmas_.” He sang the last few words, an attempt to lighten the mood, but Tony only frowned, confusion painted across his face.

“What about Helene?”

It was Adam’s turn to shrug. “She’s got Lily. Wants to focus on her, y’know?”

“Oh.” _Oh_. Tony tried to read Adam’s expression, tease out exactly what that meant. Maybe it was only for the holidays, but he got the feeling there was more to it, something more long term. “I’m sorry.”

“And?”

The frown returned, brow drawn down in confusion. “And what?”

“‘She’s better off without you, Adam’,” he sneered in an imitation of Tony’s lilting accent, and it was too harsh, too bitter. He just had to push. “Or, ‘You’d only fuck it up anyway’.”

It couldn't have been further from what Tony was thinking, but now he felt a flash of anger at Adam’s childish self pity, at his putting words in Tony’s mouth. “It is not _me_ who said this,” he pointed out, and suddenly the kitchen felt several degrees colder, Tony’s face a blank mask save for the irritation flickering in his umber eyes. Irritation, and something else, something he had never quite mastered how to completely conceal. Hurt. Even his sympathy so thoughtlessly rejected. “But perhaps you are correct, you do not deserve her.”

Adam wanted to backtrack, wished he had the words to express his feelings instead of resorting to self-destruction. Just as he had always done. That’s what had almost killed him, obliterated everything good in his life.

Just one more thing he needed to fix.

More than anything, he wanted to bring the light back to Tony’s eyes. But Tony was turning away, retreating back to the sanctuary of his office, throwing a parting shot over his shoulder as he pulled the door firmly shut.

“Don’t make too much noise.”

* * * *

Dinner service on Christmas Day went without a hitch, despite running both the kitchen and front of house with only a skeleton staff. Adam ensured every plate that left the pass was perfect, and Tony returned with compliments from several of their diners.

It being Christmas, they let the others leave early as a thank you, only Adam and Tony remaining to finish the clean up. They worked in near silence; Tony still closed off, not wanting to risk another argument, Adam uncharacteristically nervous about putting his hastily arranged plan into action.

This was nothing like his grand scheme to charm his way into Tony’s restaurant. There was far more at stake now than his reputation and a Michelin star.

He waited until they were done, satisfied the kitchen was back in order, Tony rolling his shirtsleeves down, refastening his cuffs.

“Hey, Tones.”

Tony half turned his head as he shrugged back into his jacket, not quite looking at Adam. “Hmn?”

“Come with me.”

“What…” Tony did look at Adam then, thinking he must have misheard. “Where?”

A grin was Adam’s only response, no real explanation but more than enough to compel Tony to obey. He’d always struggled to resist that smile, so bright and disarming, and when Adam grasped hold of his hand and led him from the kitchen, he let himself be pulled through the hotel.

Only in the elevator, when Adam selected the button for the sixth floor, did it dawn on Tony where they were headed, but Adam refused to enlighten him as to _why_. Still, Tony followed him, inexorably swept along in his wake.

Adam threw open the door of his room with a flourish, ushering Tony inside. The sight that greeted him was…unexpected, a far cry from the mess and chaos typically found there. Atop a small table sat two plates covered by cloches, and an array of other dishes and jugs filled with vegetables, sauces, and everything else one may wish to consume with Christmas turkey and ham. It had taken a little convincing, but once Adam had recruited Kaitlin as co-conspirator, it hadn’t taken much effort to prepare a couple extra plates towards the end of service and have it all sent up. She’d even added a few decorations, purloined from reception, which made the room look suitably festive.

Tony, however, was more baffled than impressed.

“What is this?”

“Dinner,” Adam said simply and yes, Tony could see that much. What he didn’t understand was _why_ Adam had brought him here, prepared a meal for him. Unless…

Oh.

His heart sank, plummeting down into his stomach, and he quickly steeled himself, mustering indignant anger to hide his disappointment, shoring up his well-constructed walls.

“I don’t want your pity, Adam.”

Adam blinked, thrown. “My…huh?”

“You do this because I tell you I spend Christmas alone.”

“No! No, that’s not…” Adam suddenly understood how Tony had misinterpreted his gesture, how it must look. “Shit. I’ve fucked this up, haven’t I?” He desperately fumbled for an explanation under the hot glare of insulted fury. “I’m not taking pity on you, Tony. I just thought that if we are both spending the evening alone, we could at least be alone…” He gave a helpless shrug. “Together?”

It took a few tense moments, but the anger slowly ebbed from Tony’s eyes, his face softening, the hard line of his mouth curving into an almost-smile. “Idiot.”

“Yeah,” Adam readily agreed, for wasn’t that the truth? But Tony was thawing, and Adam pressed his advantage. “Come on, before it gets cold.”

Another beat, then Tony made up his mind. No sense letting the food go to waste, and he did only have an empty flat awaiting him. He draped his jacket over the back of the chair, and had to admit the food smelled delicious.

Adam joined him, the table small enough that it felt intimate. Tony tried not to let that thought gain purchase, focused instead on the food which was, unsurprisingly, very good.

From somewhere, Adam produced a Christmas cracker, offering one end to Tony. Making no move to take it, Tony merely stared at the brightly colored novelty, suspicious. They had ordered several boxes of the things for the Christmas parties, favors for the guests, and he was certain he was looking at one of those now.

“Did you steal that from the restaurant?”

“I may have…borrowed a couple,” Adam admitted, entirely unrepentant. “Apparently, a Christmas meal just isn’t complete without crackers.”

Since the festive season was almost over, Tony decided they wouldn’t miss a couple now. Besides, it had always been in his nature to indulge Adam, however questionable it may be to do so. The thing broke apart with a sharp snap, a bright yellow folded paper hat dropping to the table in front of Tony.

“You have to wear that now,” Adam announced with undisguised glee.

“No.”

Adam pouted. “It’s tradition!”

Tony persisted in his phoney contempt, refusing to admit it was partly because of the way Adam stuck out his bottom lip in a playful sulk. “It’s ridiculous.”

“Okay, give it to me. _I'll_ wear it.”

Tony gladly handed it over, watched Adam unfold the gaudy thing and set it on his head, pushing it to one side at what he no doubt considered a rakish angle.

“How do I look?”

Tony was fighting a smile, fond amusement fluttering in his chest. “Ridiculous.”

Adam laughed, light and easy, and Tony’s heart gave a leap. This was the Adam he had fallen in love with, the bright light that had shone so brightly before hurtling and crashing so catastrophically. It was gradually regaining its previous radiance, and Tony had forgotten just how blinding it could be. So captivated was he it took several seconds to notice Adam was holding out another cracker, an expectant smile on his face.

With an eye roll exaggerated just for effect, Tony grudgingly took hold and pulled, relieved when this time no hat fell free. But he didn’t get a free pass that easily; Adam fished the damn thing from the cardboard tube, held it out to Tony with the kind of pleading expression typically employed by puppy dogs hoping for a treat. Tony glared at it – this one a shocking pink – and thought about refusing, but what the hell? He plucked it from Adam’s fingers and perched it on his head.

“Well?”

There was nothing mocking about the soft smile that settled on Adam’s lips. “Perfect,” he decided, earning a scoff and a dismissive shake of the head as Tony’s gaze fell quickly back to his plate. But there was no denying the flush that stained the tips of his ears the same color as his hat.

With great effort, and by avoiding meeting Adam’s gaze dead on, Tony was able to concentrate long enough to finish his meal, only setting his fork aside when he was quite certain he couldn’t manage another bite.

“Was it good?” Adam had the same expression he wore when awaiting Tony’s verdict on a taste test of a new idea, hoping for approval, steeled for criticism.

“Hmm…” Tony hummed, considering. “The turkey was a little dry.”

Adam’s face fell. “Really?”

Tony took pity on him. It was the season of goodwill, after all. “No, not really. Of course it was good, you cooked it.”

The praise brought Adam’s smile back, pleased and proud, and Tony loved to see him so happy, loved being the one to bring that joy to his eyes, but he was afraid it might show too plainly on his face. Adam _knew_ , and that was mortifying enough at the best of times. Rising, he started to tidy their plates and silverware, partly a diversion, but also unable to resist the ingrained habits of the best maître d’ in Europe.

“Leave that,” Adam insisted, the gentle pressure of his fingers around Tony’s wrist enough to coax him to put the plates back down. He was off the clock now, and the cleaning could wait. There were other things Adam had in mind.

He tugged Tony a few steps then spun him around, hands on his shoulders holding him in place. Tony frowned a question up at him, confused by this new madness.

Adam was smiling at him, standing so close – _too_ close – and Tony was certain that he was waiting for him to say or do something, but what that could be he couldn’t fathom.

“It’s Christmas,” Adam stated, not really clarifying anything, watching Tony with those shockingly blue eyes, expectant.

“Yes?” Still baffled, wondering what the hell he was missing. It wasn’t until Adam looked up and Tony tipped his chin to follow his gaze that the penny finally dropped. There, hanging from the ceiling light above their heads, was a sprig of mistletoe, fresh and green and innocent.

Taunting.

Tony pulled free from Adam’s grasp, backing off, almost stumbling over his own feet. “No.” He shook his head, firm, casting about for his jacket before remembering he had hung it on the chair. He was halfway to the door before Adam recovered enough to speak.

“Tony? What’s wrong? Don’t you want to?”

A short, sharp scoff. Humorless. “Of course I want to. You know this.” His shoulders hunched, defensive, making him look so much smaller. “But you do not.”

It wasn’t fair, to tease him like this, not when Adam knew how he felt. Even after all these years, Tony had never quite managed to fall out of love with Adam Jones, and to play with his feelings like this was just cruel.

“What if I do?”

It was enough to make Tony pause, hand hovering on its way to the door handle, but he didn’t look back at Adam. Didn’t dare. “Is not possible.”

“ _Everything_ is possible, Tony.”

And now Tony risked a quick look, braced for a punchline but unable to snuff the little flame of hope that flickered in his chest. Adam looked just as uncertain, just as afraid, and that was what fanned the flame, set it burning brighter. Adam never worried about consequences, just forged ahead and left destruction in his wake. But now? Now he seemed scared of screwing this up.

Adam went to Tony, heartened when he didn’t draw away. “I’m not asking you to trust me.” He hadn’t earned that right, not yet. Had already asked too much. But Helene’s kind parting words were still ringing clearly in his memory, it had just taken him a while to fully understand what she’d meant. _You deserve happiness, Adam. Find it, and don’t fuck it up._ “But let me prove it to you?”

The world tilted.

Suddenly, there wasn’t enough air in the room, and Tony could hear nothing but the rush of blood in his ears, thrumming with the hammering of his heart. He couldn’t feel his legs, and he might not have remained standing were it not for the hands that returned to his shoulders, steadying him even as they themselves trembled.

Tony bit his tongue, holding back the eager _yes_ that wanted to burst free. He had wanted this for so long, had years ago resigned himself to it being an impossible dream, and now it was being offered to him and it seemed almost too good to be true. But Adam was watching him, patient, more open and earnest than Tony had ever seen him, eyes shining with undisguised hope and a little bit of fear, baring his heart as he asked Tony to trust him with his.

Not trusting his voice, he could only manage a nod, and tiny though it was, it was enough.

Relief quickly made way for delight and Adam’s grin spread wide and bright. He brushed gentle knuckles across the swell of Tony’s cheek, cupped his jaw and stroked tender arcs with his thumb, soothing, waiting as Tony gathered the scattered parts of himself back together. How had it taken so long to see what had been right in front of him all along?

“Can I kiss you now?”

Adam could see the answer in the wide brown eyes watching him with something like awe, could feel it in the minute nod against his palm even before Tony found his voice, spoke that one simple word on a whisper of a breath.

“ _Yes_.”

It took Tony far too long to respond, to shake free from his numb shock and kiss Adam back. His hands grasped for purchase, fingers clutching tightly at Adam’s t-shirt, clinging on as Adam swept him away, his body firm and hard and warm as he pulled Tony against him, fingers ruffling through neat hair, dislodging the stupid hat he still wore, mouths finally slotting together, finding a rhythm that felt as natural as breathing.

It was enough to leave Tony gasping.

They parted, but Adam didn’t let him go, those skilled hands keeping him grounded when he might otherwise float away. He kept his eyes closed for a moment, fearing he’d see regret, but when he finally dared blink them open he found only an adoring smile, eyes that looked as stunned as he felt.

“Will you stay?”

Tony wasn’t sure what exactly Adam was asking, what he expected, whether he might ruin it all so soon as years of suppressed feelings risked pouring out unchecked. He sucked in his cheeks as he considered, his gaze sliding off to the side. That was a mistake, for he found himself looking at the bed and everything it suggested and quickly looked away again. Then there was just Adam, waiting, undemanding, and wasn’t there really only one possible answer?

“Yes.”

Lacing his fingers with Tony’s, Adam led him to the bed. Tony’s heart gave a wild leap, a sudden panic that Adam had read his thoughts, but Adam merely flicked on the television to a silly Christmas movie, pulled Tony against him, and folded him tightly in his arms. It took a little while for Tony to relax, to realize that Adam was demanding nothing, was happy with just this, and he nestled his head into Adam’s chest, tucked beneath his chin. And there’s no hurry, plenty of time for more. Adam will ask for nothing more than Tony is willing to give. Not anymore. For now, it’s enough to be together, share the quiet companionship, enjoy this new closeness. 

Later, when the movie was over but both of them loath to move, Adam started to hum. Tony could feel it as a vibration against his cheek. It took him a minute to place the song, but as it clicked in his mind, the lyrics taking shape, he raised his head to look at Adam. Adam continued without pause, soft smile on his lips, electric gaze locked on Tony’s.

_…All I want for Christmas is you._

And, just because he could, because it was _true_ , he bent to kiss Tony again, and neither of them could ask for anything more.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from Mariah Carey's 'All I Want for Christmas is You'


End file.
